Thursday 23rd November

Thursday 23^rd november

5.07am

Mara hostel london

 

3^rd night in a row im not back to my basement in kilburn.yesterday night was spending the whole night doing the ODNF report at Hanafi s place.didnt manage to finish it.i think im really done with it now.couldnt be bothered to do more because im so tired now.its really nothing the report.just a nice way of putting forward where human appeal as a charity should be targetting in terms of universities and isocs.

 

I had a real good chat with ari zulkarnian the promenant boy.these people are really good.i hope more young boys would have the idealism like him and others of the same track.talking to him was endless! Its so exciting. Reminds me of the good old days when I used to spend the whole night talking to nazmi.well nazmi has really gone way way far in politics now.im very happy for him.iwish more young malaysians ar given the same assistance.i think brother anwar did a big favour to msia’s future for ‘bailing’ nazmi out of PNB.i said to ‘someone’, padan muka PNB, sapa suruh diorang letak orang bijak giler macam nazmi stuck in some finance research dept or something! But sorry lah nazmi, I think I ll see both yourself and pakdi, well across the ‘bench’.but im looking forward for the good debate J

 

Still contemplating whether or not I should go to manchester.if I take the 10am I ll arrive at HAI manchester at 1pm..have a meeting for 3 hours.and I need to catch the 4pm back to london to be in london by 7pm for the event with mercy malaysia dato jamilah.i think this is just not happening.i hope they wont cut my funding! I m so desperate for money now, that I ll do anything for it! Please help! ! ! ! why is there no msian billionaire out there who s willing to give money for my think tank or for me to do all this! ! !  

 

Received a reply about the apostacy issue from abang yusri.he said he is in egypt for the WAMY conference.FOSIS didn’t go becos, we don’t have money! Just received another invite to go to brussels on the 2^nd december to the 6^th for a conference organised by the european jewish union of students.i don’t think I have either money nor time for this. And the TV people keep coming in.i don’t know whether to pity or not for my british muslims colleagues.mesti letih asyik masuk tv.but femes lah. Maybe ada hikmah i compromised to faisal 2 years ago.mom was there too. I probably did the best. Had more to lose than gain. Semuanya ada hikmah. Today we received request from a russian tv.hari tuh it was japan.kesian the guy trying to call me when I was on the train.i wonder how they would feel if they knew im malaysian..

 

For the London dinner its being moved to the 15^th.ive got 1500.i need 3000 more.im not sure where, but I just need to find this 3000 by hook or by crook by next Monday.

 

 

Enough for today.this week has been a real challenge.i hope I ll wake up early.

 

 

Wassalam

Firdaus

stuck at mara hostel

21^st November 2006

2.18am

Mara Hostel London

 

I hope abg din doesn’t read this blog.im now squatting for the night at mara hostel.couldnt be bothered to travel back to kilburn becos it would be too much waste of time and also energy.plus its freezing cold tonight.

 

I ve got 3 things to settle.a London dinner for 500 people on 5^th dec! FOSIS booth for the GPU event this weekend, supposedly to be visited by 20 000 people, and also the UKEC and FOSIS Careers Fair next march! And I really want to study as well!

 

Plus I still need to finish up the FOSIS ONE DAY NATIONAL FAST REPORT.thats another thing which I really need to GET OVER WITH>SABEEN IF YOURE READING this good luck for next year! ! !

 

Today pagi bangun awal buat kali pertamanya di FOSIS subuh awal and also left the house at 9 15am! Sampai malaysia hall trying to do some mengemas and susun barang UKEC dalam bilik and trying to call people to confirm about the FOSIS Dinner about the GPU event about the careers fair.i didn’t have lunch! Kilburn to bayswater to Russel square to euston square and back to bayswater.urgh!

 

Ok report khazanah nasional dah siap.skrg kena siapkan report nottingham.and then kena siapkan report ODNF.

 

Study study study bila?? And I also need money. How can I be doing all this when duit pun takder nih. Lepas tuh nak start buat briefing papers on education for the think tank lagi.

 

Esok maybe kena pergi Manchester.Tengok keadaan lah macam mana.tak perlu kot.( another way of saying I don’t want to)

 

 

Oh by the way, another scoop of the week.UKEC is hosting Datuk Jamilah Mahmood from mercy malaysia on Thursday ! !

 

Thursday 23^rd Novermber 2006

 

Malaysia Hall London

 

7.30pm sampai 10.00 mlm

 

Sapa nak makan free datang lah.it would be great.

 

 

Kononnya nak start mengira all the receipts and I still have no time.But Sheikh Hamza Yusuf says never say that you don’t have enough time cause time is really, it’s the ONLY thing in this world which you ACTUALLY have.i think I just need to face it and see hows things will go through sampai weekend nih.

 

 

Alamak, kena buat surat untuk MuslimAid..adoi.

 

 

Selamat malam semua!

 

2.36am

 

bergaduh lagi tak habis habis sampai bila nak rasa sedih di hati macam ini

20^th November 2006

1.20am

Basement, FOSIS

 

 

Joined the boys for a footie game today at the round pond, hyde park.weather today memang sejuk giler but the sun was shining bright so it was not too bad.later on went to malaysia hall spent the rest of the days susun segala video video UKEC dari zaman dahulu kala sampai lah the latest event with Dato Azman Mokhtar Khazanah Malaysia hari tuh.

 

Yesterday evening I had a long debate with my colleagues from HT.they are rather dissapointed with the fact that DESPITE the fact that they wanted to be more inclusive and try to compromise as much as possible on campuses ISOCs, they feel that the ikhwans, the jamaats, the salafis and the tablighis are not even budging one iota ( that’s the word he used – my new catch line)

I think its really sad the situation that we re now having in the ISOCs around the country with regards to this matter.I don’t blame the young muslim leaders for the difference.really, change must come from the top.Not only are we having problems with the different ‘movement’ people, on top of that we are also having problem with the Sunni and Shiite divide.Well I ve dwelled on this issue before ( below )

 

Im not sure whether this weekend has been a really good one. Saturday I was doing the work at hanafis place and then went to malaysia hall to see siddiq and imaad.then back to FOSIS.Sunday afternoon was footie and the rest of the day was UKEC work.

 

Maybe quite a useless weekend.should have done more work, and also woke up early.i still need to sort out all the ODNF receipts, that’s like more than a thousand quids, and then this FOSIS annual dinner thing is getting the ever more elusive to organise,let me see what else…oh yes my BVC studies!

 

Savour the moment, at least it was a good weekend for my sports life, United won and yes, Federer is champion again, in Japan this time.

 

 

Esok pagi kena bangun awal pergi malaysia hall buat kerja UKEC and then petang kena pergi SOAS untuk kerja FOSIS.Malam esok kena balik awal kemas bilik because I now have someone else sharing the basement with me now.Kesian dia, he s a frenchy, just arrived.Should ask fairus to improve my french.

 

I need to study study study..but what about money money money L

 

This is not good.Tuesday evening might have to go to manchester..again.my weekly routine nowadays.looking fwd to watch united v benfica next 2 weeks! Kena beli tiket murah dgn Alan.

 

2.43am now.should go to sleep.

 

 

 

 

empty decorations

I wake in the dawn to showers of light
Moments of emptiness surround
Floating away with auras of hope
But reality brings me down to the ground
What can i do ?
What can i say ?
I need a place to hide away
Just for a while, just for a smile
Just for the life i used to know

Where every song
Was filled with words of love and not of anger
Where did they go ?
Why did they leave me far behind ?


Cause i don't wanna be alone
Living life all on my own
I don't wanna live my life in isolation
Filled with empty decorations
Cause i wanna be with the people that i know
Who will do the things i do
Making all my dreams come true
I don't recognise the shadows on my door
Although i've seen them all before
Because the only thing i really want is to be with you...

I look at the sky, it looks back at me
I can't hear the silent melodies
I know that i'm here yet i am lost
Blown in confusion by the breeze
Hiding my face, crying alone
I need to find my way back home
Back to the place, the wonderful days
Living the life i used to know

Where every smile
Was born out of a love and of sincerity
And every tear of everflowing joy

starting again- 3rd time around

Saturday 18^th november 2006

Rumah hanafi, queensway

 

Its been quite a while since I last wrote something in the blog.i think I should try to be consistent.short entries, but consistent.sometimes when im on the tube I always have lots of ideas of what to write in the blog, especially after going through either one of the broadsheets or the ever favourite non sticking ink metro lite! No offence to those who work for the London paper!seriously someone should tell them to get a better editor for the pictures and a facelift on the frontpage.serious boring

 

Most of the boys in london knows that im the nomad boy in london.moving from one house to another.its quite sad that I don’t have anymore of my friends from my batch living in london.everyones graduated and left for malaysia for good.so Im now befriending all the so called juniors, and their houses is more than just a second home to me these days.

 

On top of the list is ‘my very own’ Grade I listed victorian flat at earls court- rumah faizal and the gang! Besar giler with like 5 rooms , if not of rasa malu sebab I always turn up uninvited, I would have wanted to live there more than I would want to stay at the FOSIS hostel! Kalau lah these people were my batch or even better,smapk people I would probably end up coming everyday!

 

Mara hostel is probably another one of my favourite tempat berteduh.but I have to be careful because abg din might turn up and chase me out of the place in the middle of the night! But worry not, just down the road near the Gala Casino ( no, its not like one of those Casino Royale!) there s the rumah hanafi, where im writing this from now.Abn is another nomad sharing the living room tonight, but he had the privilege of sleeping on the couch ( infront of me now ) and im waiting for subuh with not much work done through out the night.shere waste of time.

 

Yesterday evening at malaysia hall I gave my first careers day briefing to the new ukec people.i hope this year we can start early and have a much bigger careers fair than last year.maybe with khazanah people o board,even the GLCs will be coming in droves this year insya allah.oh by the way, mark your calendar, UKEC careers fair UCL London 24^th of march 2007!

 

Its rare that I have a whole weekend to spend.usually id have my FOSIS work today somewhere outside london,but I think this weekend I ll try to do as much BVC work and UKEC work as possible.oh well, wait till Sunday, then we ll know how much is the as much as possible end up with!

 

Ok kena ada timing only 30 minutes of writing per day.should write more tomorrow evening.or night.or morning.

 

Good night.

 

If I don’t see u tomorrow, good morning, good afternon and good evening. J

 

 

4.49am

Ngatuk!